People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize