Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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