aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
