We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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