Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
