I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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