I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
my poor anus
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
