What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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