I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
