Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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