handjob tips. give me some.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
