OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
