i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
