I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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