Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
