i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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