And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he was CRYING into my vagina
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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