***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
