it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
