She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
