did you get engaged???
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
