I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
