Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
