What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize