You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
