You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he shaved USA in his pubs
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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