I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
