The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
