Sry I called you an 8
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I want a musical about memes.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
