when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
