I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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