Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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