I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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