i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize