I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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