Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
