just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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