Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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