Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
