that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize