absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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