I wish I could punch you in the face.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
