i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
