So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
