Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
