what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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