I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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