After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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