Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I wish you could order shots online.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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