I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i think my mom watched the whole time
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
i now understand why vodka
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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