Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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