When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
