I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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