when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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