just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
