Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
