I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I supernannyed him into submission
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
