I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
