im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
