there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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