she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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