Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Randomize
