May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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