It was confusing and full of hummus
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
