We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize