im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
