atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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