there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
