i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
