I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
